Surviving the Preteen Years: The Root of Conflict

 preteen boy

Recently, I wrote an article titled, “5 Tips For Safely Surviving the Preteen Years”.  I hope it provided some food for thought on how to approach this turbulent season of parenting.  But what about those of you who are already in the thick of the battle?  Why does your child suddenly seem like a stranger, and a combative one at that?  What happened?  And most importantly, is there anything we can do to calm the storm?

These are big questions and before I attempt to answer them I want to give the caveat that I am no child psychologist.  I can only approach this from the perspective of having been the problem child, as well as over 20 years of personal research into personality types, love languages, learning styles, and simple observation of the families in my sphere.  With that said, I see three main root causes for the conflict between parents and preteens/teenagers.

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5 Tips For Safely Surviving the Preteen Years


How would you like to work in a position that requires no prior training, and in fact, offers no training at all?  What if the people you worked with were awesome, and loving, but were constantly morphing and changeable?  In fact, in this profession, you might not know from day to day, sometimes moment to moment, whether you’ll be working with sunshine and roses, or a Sith lord straight from the dark side.  Sound exciting?  Interesting?  Challenging?

It is.  Welcome to motherhood!

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